Hold Me Close
by C.Queen
Summary: There is a darkness behind Magnus's bright colors and grins.  And the past has a way of sneaking up on everyone, especially in their dreams.  Can Alec chase the nightmares away, reminding Magnus that he no longer has to face the night alone?
1. Alone In The Crowd

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters find themselves in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's just the way it's gotta be. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.

Alone In The Crowd

Magnus stood off to the side, his back against the wall as he surveyed his party. His loft was full of people tonight, everyone talking, laughing and dancing, having a great time as far as he could see. As the host of the party Magnus knew he should be in the thick of things, but from the looks of it his guests wouldn't notice either way. Anyone could be their host and they'd come, so long as the food and liquor was free. Was he even necessary, Magnus wondered to himself. Probably not.

And wasn't he in a piss poor mood?

Taking a sip from his glass Magnus told himself to drop his dark, depressed mood. But he just couldn't seem to manage it. It clung to him like a needy ex girlfriend.

It had been almost a week since the battle against Valentine and the demons, and he'd been back in New York for almost as long. The Lightwoods had stayed behind and had only recently returned to the Big Apple. So far he'd only managed one dinner with Alec since then, and that had been cut short by his boyfriend's mother. It wasn't that Mrs. Lightwood had retracted her approval of him, but she wasn't handling the loss of her youngest son well. She'd held up until the trouble was over, but now that it had passed she was fraying at the seams. Coming home to Max's empty room had been the final straw for her, and now she got frantic if she didn't have her remaining children near her at all times. And she might not be discouraging them from being together, but she wasn't being very encouraging either. She did not want to lose her son to him, and Magnus was getting the idea she saw that as a distinct possibility.

God he hoped it was a possibility.

Not that he wanted to take Alec away from her permanently, but by Lilith, he wanted a part of him. He wanted them to become so linked with Alec that no one and nothing could tear them apart. He wanted Alexander Lightwood's heart more than he'd ever wanted anything before.

But could he have him?

He'd never been able to keep anyone's love for long.

Magnus knew that parents hadn't loved him, and none of his former lovers, even Camille, had truly loved him the way the romance novels and poets described. He'd never been anyone's most important person but he'd always wanted to be.

Hence his dark, cynical mood, Magnus thought wryly, toasting his mood before taking another sip. No matter what he told himself he couldn't help but feel that every hour away from Alec pushed them further apart. That absence would not make the heart grow fonder in their case. And what could he do about it, really? He couldn't go to the Institute and drag Alec out to spend time with him. And he couldn't force Alec to want to spend time with him or love him. He couldn't make someone feel what they didn't.

And what did Alec feel? Had everything that had happened between them at the city been just a fluke? Had Alec kissed him, come out as his boyfriend, because he'd thought they'd end up dead anyway? Now that peace was before them, would Alec retreat to the safety of what he knew best? Would Alec take back his affection and retreat into his Shadowhunter persona?

Would Alec ever say that he loved him?

He hadn't said it either, but he'd at least implied it. Magnus couldn't bear to say those words and not have Alec return them afterwards. Or worse, say them because he felt he ought to. If Alec did that…Magnus didn't think he could bear it. To hear what he'd wanted to hear for so long, but know it to be false.

Draining his drink, Magnus stared down at the empty glass and set it aside. He was tempted to get drunk, but not even that would likely stop the way he was feeling. And more than anything, he wanted to stop feeling. So he would call an end to the party and go to sleep, Magnus decided. At least in sleep he could make things the way he wanted them to be.

)

After kicking everyone out of his loft Magnus didn't even consider cleaning up the mess everyone had made of his place. His loft had looked much worse, as horrified as Alec would be to learn that. Smiling wryly at the thought Magnus stepped around the debris and headed for his bedroom, closing the door behind him with more force than was strictly necessary. Stripping as he went the warlock changed into his favorite, royal blue pajamas, and headed for his vanity table.

Taking a seat Magnus removed all his make up and glitter, working away at it until his face and hair were free of all beauty enhancements. The man he saw in his mirror was the real him. The man behind his colorful masks and disguises, who Magnus preferred to see and acknowledge as little as possible.

Because that sad, often lonely man scared him like few things could.

It wasn't that he lived a lie, it was that he preferred to live in a superficial world where things and people had little to no real meaning to him. He had no real bonds, nothing and no one to tie him down to any one place or thing. Before he'd laid eyes on a certain blue eyed Shadowhunter, Chairman Meow was the only living thing Magnus would have regretted being without since Camille. That was the way to live when you were going to live as long as he was, Magnus thought to himself. What was the point in caring about people who would be dead before he knew it? Especially when he always seemed to care more about them then they did for him.

But his heart belonged to Alec now, Lilith help him.

Climbing into bed Magnus stretched out on his back, staring up at his ceiling as he tried to will himself to go to sleep. He was exhausted, mind and body, and the warlock could feel sleep just within his reach. But some part of him rebelled against the idea of slipping into slumber, perhaps because somehow Magnus knew the coming dreams would not be pleasant ones. Couldn't be, thanks to his present state of mind.

But his eyes closed anyway, and he soon fell asleep.

And just as he thought, his dreams were a nightmare.

In the dream he was a kid again, his father's strong, work calloused hands holding him down, forcing him below the surface of the river that had run near their planting fields. No matter how he struggled Magnus couldn't break free, and his attempts to get air into his burning lungs only made him choke on the muddy water that filled his lungs instead. He could feel himself losing consciousness, and this time he didn't have magic to save him from the man who should have wanted him to live the most. This time there would be no second chance at life for him, Magnus knew. This time he was going to die and there was nothing he could do to change that.

And why should he fight to live, Magnus wondered in his dream. Why should it matter if he lived or died? Who would care, when his own parents didn't? When what he was scared everyone and made them avoid him like some sort of fatal disease? Who would mourn him? No one. It was better to die really, to just let his life be over. Everyone would be happier without him around. His mother would finally be at peace.

Going still Magnus stopped fighting for air, welcoming the darkness as he sank into it without protest.

And then, just as it all seemed to be drawing to a final close, Magnus heard a voice. It was faint at first, but it was growing louder and louder as he strained to hear it.

Alec's voice. That was Alec's voice.

And the more he struggled to hear it, the louder it became.

Then he felt Alec's lips over his, breathing life back into him with a force that had him fighting once more to live.

Because Alec wanted him to.

)

With a start Magnus's eyes opened wide, gasping for air against the lips pressed firmly against his. Then abruptly the lips left his own and in the darkness Magnus recognized the shadowy form of his boyfriend, feeling Alec's weight as the man continued to straddle him as he reached out to frame his face, his tone urgent and demanding as Alec ordered him to breathe.

Struggling to do just that Magnus blinked rapidly when Alec reached out to turn on the bedside lamp, illuminating them both so that Magnus could see for himself that the shape and voice weren't just figments of his imagination.

Alec was really there, his dark hair and leather jacket gleaming wetly. Dimly Magnus could hear it raining outside his window, feel the water dripping off of his boyfriend and onto him as Alec leaned in close, his blue eyes alight with fear and worry.

Struggling to sit up Magnus has to clear his burning throat a couple of times before he could manage to speak anything remotely reassuring. "I'll be okay." He croaked, working up a crooked smile.

"Well I sure as hell won't be." And that said Alec reached out and yanked Magnus up against his broad chest, his arms encircling the warlock's waist as he held on for dear life, cuddling Magnus close as he breathed a sigh of relief.

Frozen in shock Magnus became aware of the fact that his man was shaking, panting too as he all but squeezed the life out of him with his fierce hold. Slowly realizing just how upset Alec was Magnus wrapped his own arms around the man, returning the embrace just as tightly as he relaxed against the Shadowhunter, concentrating solely on the warmth of the other man's body. Pushing aside everything else Magnus breathed in the spicy, warn scent that clung to Alec's wet skin, the cool wetness from the rain feeling good against his heated face. In fact, everything felt better now.

He could breathe freely now that Alec was there.

Burying his face against the side of Magnus's neck Alec's voice cracked a little as he spoke. "I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, and you didn't answer your phone when I called. When I got here Chairman Meow was banging his head so hard against your door that it's a wonder he didn't knock himself out doing it. And when I opened the door…when I opened the door you were gasping for air and then you just stopped. You just stopped breathing. I was so afraid for you that I almost stopped breathing. Why did you stop breathing? Are you sick? Do I need to get you to a healer? What's wrong?"

Now that he mentioned Chairman, Magnus became aware of something small and fluffy squeezed between them, squirming around like one massive butterfly. Keeping one arm around Alec Magnus slid his free hand between them and reached down to retrieve his furry friend, who meowed his happiness that Magnus was okay too.

Once he'd pressed the purring cat up against his cheek for a quick nuzzle Magnus smiled and deposited Chairman Meow safely on the mattress, patting the cat on the head. While Chairman Meow watched with interest Magnus snuggled back up against Alec as he answered the man's earlier question. "I'll be okay, really. I should have seen it coming."

"Seen what coming?"

He had never talked about his attacks with anyone before, but safe within Alec's arms Magnus found himself explaining despite himself. "Every once in a while, when I'm feeling weak personally and magically, I have these…panic attacks. I just have problems breathing for a little while, it's no big deal. This was just…the worst ever." He finished lamely.

"That's an understatement."

Magnus's shrug was rueful. He wasn't about to tell Alec why this one had been the worst, he didn't want the Shadowhunter blaming himself or saying things he didn't mean to make him feel better. And being here in Alec's arms, Magnus thought that all his earlier thoughts seemed stupid and groundless now. Alec cared, the way he was holding him made that clear. Alec was holding him like he never wanted to let him go.

Magnus was all for that plan.

But to the warlock's disappointment Alec did let him go after a few minutes, drawing back so that his arms were only loosely wrapped around Magnus's face. "You're sure you don't need to see someone about this?"

"Positive."

"Then where do you keep your sheets?"

Magnus blinked, sure he must have heard the man wrong. "My sheets?"

Alec's gaze was tender as he moved his hands to gentle frame Magnus's face. "Your sheets need changing before you go back to bed. It's cool out and I don't want you to get sick on top of everything else. And you need to go wash that sweat off and change your pajamas. I'll change the sheets while you do that."

Abruptly Magnus realized that he was sweating heavily, a product of his nightmare. That wasn't unusual though, he usually woke up this way after one of his night terrors. Of course he never went to sleep after them either, but Alec didn't need to know that. The man was panicky enough already. So he'd play along, Magnus decided, and then when Alec left him he'd find something to do. Maybe clean the place up a little for once, in case Alec's parents came by sometime soon. They would probably have numerous problems with his décor. Not that he was going to fix it up, but he could at least kill the multi celled organisms growing in various corners.

As for his bedding…Magnus snapped his fingers, the sheets under them disappearing. With another snap they were replaced by new ones. "You were saying?"

"Or you could do that." Alec agreed with a small smile. "Now go wash up, okay?" Alec leaned in to place a quick kiss against the man's lips. "Go on."

Amused, Magnus nodded, figuring Alec had a point. And he was starting to feel a little gross now that his man had pointed out that he'd been sweating like a long distance runner. In Magnus's opinion there was only one good reason to be this sweaty and he was too worn out from the nightmare to be up to it. No pun intended.

)

So with regret Magnus pulled away and headed for his dresser, amused when Chairman Meow followed after him. Apparently his kitty was feeling the need to stick close, which was out of character for the ball of fluff. He must be really worried about him, Magnus thought as he leaned down to scoop the cat up, cradling his pet against his chest as he retrieved a fresh pair of pajama pants. Slinging them over his shoulder Magnus headed for his bathroom.

Setting the cat down on the counter when he arrived Magnus stripped down and wetting a washcloth wiped himself off, too tired to shower. Once that was done and toweled off Magnus headed back into his bedroom with Chairman Meow, Alec sitting on the bed with his phone out, texting someone from the looks of it.

Figuring that Alec was reassuring someone that he'd be home soon Magnus worked up a smile, walking over to the other side of the mattress. Sitting down Magnus slid under the sheets, pulling them up around his shoulders as he settled in with Chairman beside him.

Putting his phone away Alec turned and gave the warlock a questioning look. "You aren't wearing a top."

"Too warm and tired to care. I'll be fine."

Alec's face indicated he didn't agree. While Magnus watched Alec unzipped his jacket and shrugged it off, tossing it in the direction of the nearby chair. Underneath he wore a simple black tee and Magnus goggled as Alec reached down and pulled the shirt up and over his head, revealing the six pack Magnus had been drooling for another glimpse of.

"Sit up and hands up." Alec ordered, Magnus doing so automatically.

Shifting over Alec had the material up and over the warlock's arms and head before the warlock knew what was happening, a faint smile touching the Shadowhunter's lips at the way the tee hung off of Magnus. While they were close in height, his chest was a great deal wider than Magnus's and the warlock looked more than a little adorable in the shirt.

Looking down at the shirt Magnus thought it the plainest thing he'd worn since his childhood. Not that he was complaining, it was sweet of Alec to give him his shirt. Plus, now he could look at Alec topless, which was improving his mood by leaps and bounds.

"You're going to go home without a shirt? What will your mother think?"

Alec smiled back, Magnus not sure what to think of the fact that the Shadowhunter was taking off his socks and shoes. Before he could ask Alec what he was up to the Shadowhunter pulled back the covers and slid into bed beside him.

"Alec? What are you doing?" Magnus asked belatedly.

Settling onto his side Alec stared back at Magnus with equal surprise. "You didn't honestly think I was going to leave you alone, did you? I'm staying here to make sure you're okay. You could have a relapse."

Magnus stared at Alec dumbly. "I'll be fine."

"Not taking that chance. Do you want to keep the light on? Would that help you sleep better?"

Instinctively settling back down so that his head rested on the pillow beside Alec's, Magnus staring into the most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen. Magnus didn't know how to express himself as he reached out to caress Alec's cheek. "I really am okay. You don't have to stay."

"Yeah, I really do."


	2. Intimate Conversation

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters find themselves in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's just the way it's gotta be. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.

Intimate Conversation

Magnus could feel himself going all mushy, not really surprising given his emotional state. His defenses were low, so that all he wanted to do was wallow in other man's words and presence. And since Alec was there anyway Magnus gave into the urge to move in closer, linking their fingers under his covers.

Squeezing Magnus's hand Alec smiled at the warlock shyly, a hint of nerves in his eyes over the closeness now that his own nerves had settled down. "My mom said that if you have another attack I'm to bring you home with me and she'll arrange for you to be examined by a healer."

"I really am fine, promise." Magnus assured him, surprised that his boyfriend's mother had made that kind of offer. Of course she was probably willing to put up with him as a guest if it meant Alec would be back home with her instead of at his place.

"Well if you have another attack I'm taking you to a healer whether you like it or not. You said this was the worst one ever after all. If these panic attacks are escalating than something has to be done about it. I work nights after all." And the thought of Magnus having another attack while he was out working had Alec's anxieties flaring up again. "How often do you get them anyway?"

"Very rarely." Picking up on the other man's mood Magnus was both touched and bemused by the man's mother hen behavior. Any minute the man would suggest having his temperature taken. "You need to stop worrying, Sweetie. I'm fine, really."

Alec opened his mouth to ask more questions but decided against it, seeing how worn out Magnus was under his smiles and assurances. Sleep was probably what he needed most right now. So he'd change the subject to something that wouldn't upset the man and hopefully lull him back to sleep. "So did you at least have a good party tonight? Isabelle was really sorry to miss it."

Magnus smiled back wryly, relieved that the Shadowhunter was letting him drop the subject. "It wasn't one of my best. I just couldn't seem to get into the partying mood. Guess I just missed you too much." He added with a wink, his tone as light and teasing as he could make it.

Alec's expression became somewhat self deprecating. "Sorry I couldn't come, but I'm no good at parties anyway. You should know that by now. So far all your friends who have met me think our relationship is the weirdest thing ever, right? I'm not the sort you go clubbing or drinking with. You'd probably have more fun doing that without me around to spoil the mood."

"I'd go clubbing or drinking with you any day." Magnus leaned in to brush his lips against Alec.

"As the designated driver, maybe." Alec shot back, amusement in his eyes as he sweetly returned the brief brush of lips. "But I'll come to your next party if you really want me to. If nothing else I can supervise everything and make sure that none of your fellow Downlanders tries to eat Chairman Meow again."

"He is still pretty bitter about that." Magnus acknowledged, well aware of the cat purring away from his other side. "You'd think me turning the offender into a ball of yarn would be enough for him."

Alec's lips twitched at the metal image as he spoke. "No one likes to be nearly eaten."

"Well I don't know about that." Magnus purred as he nipped the bottom of Alec's lip, deliberately moving his hands up to dig his fingers into the man's shoulder blades as he arched up against the Shadowhunter teasingly. "I think you'll find you like me nibbling on you quite a bit."

The Shadowhunter's cheeks flushed red, as expected. "You need your rest." Alec blurted out, feeling the color move from his cheeks up to his ears. "There will be time for that…later. When you're feeling better."

Magnus had to laugh, though his heart hurt just a little. Like another, lower area of his anatomy when Alec shied away from the intimate aspect of a romantic relationship. He turned the other man on, the Shadowhunter couldn't hide that, but he didn't want to want him, Magnus thought as he lowered his lashes to hide his thoughts. And that fact was killing him.

"What are you thinking?" Alec asked, picking up on the shift in Magnus's mood. The warlock was very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings, but Alec liked to think he was getting better at seeing beyond the one liners and glitter.

"How adorable you are when you blush." Magnus lied, though it was the truth to. His Shadowhunter was very, very adorable.

Rather than blush, Alec's eyes took on just a hint of annoyance. "For someone who's lived nine hundred years it's amazing that you haven't realized by now that guys don't want to be adorable after the age of five. And even then we only want to be because adults let us get away with stuff if we are."

"I am not nine hundred years old! I'm eight hundred and…I'm not nine hundred years old. It's mean of you to suggest otherwise." Magnus stated gruffly, his lips curving into a pout. He knew Alec was interesting in learning his exact age and he had no intention of telling him.

"Well then don't call me adorable. I hate that I blush around you so easily."

That didn't surprise Magnus but, "I love that you blush around me so easily. Its how I know you're aware of me and how much I want you."

Of course that had Alec blushing to a really embarrassing degree. "I would think you'd know that by now without my blushing advertising it for everyone in the vicinity. People teasing me about you only makes me more nervous and awkward. And I'm awkward enough as it is around people I don't know."

"More nervous?"

Alec opened his mouth and than shut it again. The look on his face was typically of his race, indicating his unwillingness to talk about anything remotely personal.

Annoyed, Magnus thought not for the first time that Shadowhunters had to have a few drops of Vulcan blood in them somewhere. Their habit of refusing to speak or acknowledge their softer sides were just one of the many reasons he'd opted not to get emotionally involved with any of them in the past. But he'd always been a big believer in the idea that 'rules were made to be broken' and he'd broken more than a few when it came to getting involved with Alec. Most of the time he didn't have a single regret about that.

"Now you're angry with me." Alec stated, reaching up a hand to cup Magnus's cheek, his fingers slowly spreading across the smooth, pale skin. "Why?"

"Because it bothers me when you pull away from me."

)

About to point out that they were still in the bed with mere centimeters between them Alec belated clued in to what sort of pulling away Magnus meant. And that he couldn't argue with, the Shadowhunter thought grimly. He knew what Magnus was asking from him but it was harder than the warlock could imagine for him to give his boyfriend what he wanted. Not only was it against his race's nature to be emotional, but it was against his own nature as well. He bottled things up and retreated into himself at every available opportunity. He didn't like being around people, talking to them, pretending to have anything remotely in common with them. For some strange reason that had yet to bother Magnus but that was probably only a matter of time. All the other people in his life thought he needed a personality and attitude adjustment so why would Magnus be any different. Isabelle often said she could write notebooks full of his personality defects.

And every time he opened his mouth he was afraid it would become more apparent to Magnus what a mistake he'd made, falling for him.

But then again, he was still trying to figure out why the warlock had fallen for him in the first place.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Alec finally admitted, as much to Magnus as to himself. He wouldn't know how to say what he felt even if he'd had the guts to say them aloud. Somehow he didn't think a stammered confession would count in his favor either. The first time you told someone you loved them was supposed to be special, and he had no idea how to say those sorts of words without making Magnus realize just what a bad bet he was in the first place.

"What do you like about me?"

Surprised, Alec stared into the man's faintly glowing cat eyes, sensing the strong emotions banked behind them. Flustered by the question Alec stumbled over his words, trying to at least give the man that much. To give Magnus some idea just how wonderful he thought the warlock was.

"You're you. You're unique. You are who you want to be and anyone who doesn't like it can go jump off Brooklyn Bridge in the middle of winter. You say what you want and you aren't afraid of what other people think the way I am. I like everything about you, Magnus. Even the stuff about you that drives me up the wall I like in some strange way. I just plain like you."

"So you…like me."

Alec winced, realizing how that sounded. "I more than just like you, you know that."

"Do I?" Magnus drawled out, raising a questioning eyebrow as he propped his head up on one elbow so that he could give Alec his full attention.

Flushing again Alec deeply regretting not turning the bedside light off before he'd laid down beside the other man. And he wanted to resort that Magnus knew perfectly well how he felt about him, but that was probably wishful thinking on his part. Ironic really, since pretty much everyone had clued into his feelings for Jace when that had been an issue. Well everyone but his parents, but they were good at not seeing things they didn't want to see where their children were concerned. Isabelle was living proof of that.

Now here he was, with pretty much everyone knowing how he felt about Magnus but Magnus. Or at least that was the vibe the warlock was giving off. He was no good at relationships, this was the first real one he'd ever been in. But Alec had enough common sense to know he was on shaky, shaky ground. And Magnus, for all his tough talk, was not nearly as fine as he was making himself out to be. So, dammit, he was going to have to man up.

"Magnus, you know me. You know what a coward I am, especially when it comes to my emotions. If I wasn't serious about you than you know I wouldn't be here right now. My parents certainly wouldn't know where I was and my entire race wouldn't be talking about me like I'd gone off the deep end back in the city. I choose to be with you. To stay with you. Because of my feelings for you."

"You're skirting the question."

Annoyance flashed into Alec's eyes. "And you're any better?"

"Hey, I've said the L word. That's more than you can say." Magnus shot back with an insulted look on his pale face, golden green eyes flashing with it.

Sitting up Alec looked down at Magnus, crossing his arms in front of him. Unfortunately, anger had always been his fallback when cornered, Alec thought in some corner of his brain, even as he let the anger carry and influence his words. "No, you didn't use the L word. At least not the way you're supposed to. You've insinuated the L word. There's a difference. A big one. But if you want to play it that way…we can play it YOUR way. You know that rune that Clary made, the one she used to show everyone that she really could make her own runes? Well that rune made me see you. I. Saw. You. Not a member of my family, not Jace, YOU. So there!"

"Me?" Magnus sat up, his whole body tense as he stared into Alec's eyes. "When she cast the rune to make her look like the person everyone in the room loved the most…you saw me?"

Reaching out Alec framed Magnus's face between his hands, his fingers gliding through the man's silky hair as the heat of his anger turned into a different kind of heat. "You." And blushing like the idiot he felt like Alec forced himself to say the words Magnus apparently needed to hear in order to believe him. "I love you, you idiot."

Throwing his arms around Alec's neck Magnus held on with all his strength, burying his face against the side of the Shadowhunter's neck. The warlock's body shuddered against Alec's as emotions and long held feelings competed for supremacy, overwhelming him. There were things that Magnus knew he should be saying, things he had to say in response, but he couldn't seem to make his throat work. All he could do was hang on and marvel at the arms that wrapped around him, holding him there, anchoring him in his emotional storm.

Another first for him, Magnus thought as he inhaled the scent of his man. To know, in every cell of his being, that he was safe in body and heart.

Not knowing what else to do, what to think of the tidal waves of emotions coming off the warlock, Alec moved one hand around Magnus's neck and the other slid under his own shirt to stroke the man's back in soothing circles. Holding and stroking, the Shadowhunter remained as he was until he felt Magnus relax against him in exhaustion. "You okay now?" Alec asked hesitantly, not sure if the warlock was happy with his declaration or not. Calling him an idiot probably hadn't helped his case. "I don't really think you're an idiot."

"You've made me feel like one plenty of times." Nuzzling his face against Alec's neck, Magnus felt as rung out and limp as an over cooked noodle. It had taken all his strength to pretend that he was okay and now that Alec had confessed…all his shields had shattered and he couldn't hide all he was thinking and feeling.

"An idiot because you…care about me?" Alec asked, not sure how to take that.

"No. Loving you makes me downright brilliant." And holding onto Alec with what strength he had left Magnus smiled drowsily as he returned the words he'd waited centuries to hear. "I love you too, Alec. Even when you're being an idiot, you're my idiot. My love." He added as his eyes drifted shut, slurring the last words as he fell asleep against the man in spite of himself.

"You and I just don't get many breaks in the romantic department, do we?" Alec murmured as he laid them both back into bed, molding his body to his love's so that there was no space between them. "Here's hoping we have better luck tomorrow."

)

Magnus slowly opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to get his bearings. He was in bed, but he felt the way he did after he had had one of his panic attacks. A low grade headache, aches in his limbs, and being just plain worn out. The numbers on his bedside clock said that it was eleven o'clock, and judging from the light coming through the windows that was a.m.. But he never slept after one of his panic attacks and he remembered it being-Alec. Eyes widening Magnus sat up and looked down, fingers splaying over his chest as he touched the black cotton. Alec's shirt. He was wearing Alec's shirt. Because Alec had come over. Alec had stayed over and had said…had said that he loved him.

Throwing off his covers Magnus got out of bed, ignoring the aches and headache as he moved across the room and went to the door, leaning on it for moment before opening it as he went in search of the man whose shirt he was wearing. Alec had to still be around, otherwise he would have taken the shirt with him.

The warlock finally found a clue as to Alec's whereabouts when he heard the radio playing from his rarely to never used kitchen. The station was an easy listening one that played music he would normally have never listened to. That indicated someone had gone in and changed the station, and that that someone didn't have any taste in popular music. Yup, it was probably Alec.

Moving to stand in the kitchen's doorway Magnus stared at the picture the Shadowhunter made, stirring something in a pot that smelled really, really good as it bubbled away. Alec was wearing a shirt that clung to the man's chest like a second skin, one of his own if Magnus wasn't mistaken.

Sensing the warlock's presence Alec looked over, a censoring look on his face. "Do you have any idea how disgusting this kitchen is? I know you can just snap your fingers and make food appear but really, I wouldn't even eat in here if I was starving. It took me an hour just to clean the areas I was going to use to make you lunch. I'm actually afraid to open the oven door and see what's inside."

"You're making me lunch."

Alec flushed at the loving look Magnus gave him. "Yeah I'm making you lunch."

Walking over to stand in front of the Shadowhunter Magnus brushed his lips against Alec's, pulling back to grin like an idiot. "You're actually cooking for me."

"It's just chicken noodle soup."

"I love chicken noodle soup. I love you." Magnus added, still a little fuzzy on whether or not he'd returned Alec's declaration the night before.

"I love you and chicken noodle soup too."

And at their feet Chairman Meow meowed that he loved chicken noodle soup and them too.

Unfortunately for him, they were too busy kissing to hear him.

The End


End file.
